Jack, the worlds meanest fish

I haven’t written in awhile and I think it is because my kids have been gone. They are most assuredly my muse and always fill my head with wild imaginings. This is the way it is with kids. They think so freely and without reserve. They revel and joy in life’s simple pleasures and in that wonderful sparkling mirror they bounce that blissful spirit to all of those around them. They come back today and I can’t wait.

In the meantime I think it is time to introduce jack, the world’s meanest fish. We originally got him to teach some other fish I had a lesson. You see, I had two minnows and two goldfish all in the same tank and the minnows proceeded to kill my goldfish. Okay, fine. I happened to have a Siamese fighting fish (betta) as well and promptly put it in the tank with the minnows – and watched in horror as the minnows began to pick away at my betta. I quickly got him out of there (to which he was eternally grateful though a little ashamed) and went back to the pet store. Once there I asked for a new fish that will teach my bad boy minnows a lesson. She led me back to a dark corner of the pet store where no others feared to tread. Alone, in the dark, was a small colorful fish. Maybe two and a half inches long. I laughed and she quickly ushered me away. “Don’t laugh at it” she said fearfully, “it really doesn’t like that.” I glanced back at the tank and it appeared that it was looking at me… and glaring. I really didn’t like how it was looking at me. “What am I doing” I thought “it’s a FISH, and a small one at that.” I told her I would take it. I happened to be there with my mom and my boys but they were busy looking at other fish at the time. I waved them over just as she opened the lid and tried to capture this devil fish in a net. It fought, HARD! It struggled and thrashed and bit at the net. She finally got it in a plastic bag but it fought so hard that my boys didn’t want to hold it. My mom, always the trooper, stepped up and took it since I was driving. On the way home it never stopped struggling and thrashing. It actually punctured the bag trying to get out. We were all a little rattled by the time we got it in the tank. The minnows saw it and started to approach but even they had second thoughts and hid behind a rock. At first the new fish did nothing, but eventually it took out its anger on the minnows and chewed them to little pieces and swallowed the bits. We got more fish, bigger fish and he killed them all and ate the bodies. He was quickly named “Jack” for Jack the ripper. He has now grown to almost five and a half inches long anf very thick.

As a side note I went to clean the tank today and he jumped out and landed on my carpeting. I went to grab him and found out that his fins hide nasty little spikes. He hurt my hand pretty bad when I grabbed him. I had to go get a towel to grab him and throw him back in the tank. You’d think that might shock him but nooooo, he was right there at the front of the tank looking at me like he wanted to go another round - which I wisely declined.

 

A day without kids is like a fish without a bicycle - it has no meaning.