Spinning on the loom of time

Friday.  Again.  My brain is filled with cotton nightmares.  Soft and warm, beguiling and dangerous.  Autopilot seems like the best plan right now.  Just run and run until you hear metal grinding on metal and pieces start flying off.  Then lay down in the bright moonlight and ponder the deeper questions.  The questions to which there really is no answer.  Sometimes I think the great philosophers where merely spinning time.  Nothing better to do.  Stringing words together in a somewhat coherent fashion.  The lucky ones actually turned out something that sounded cool and made people stop and look.  Not really even understanding it themselves they could look back and stare blankly, making them look humble and smart.  That’s all it is, a colossal misunderstanding combined with stupid luck.  Random occurrence is the true god.  No rhyme or reason.  Just luck.

Powerful, Majestic, Slow and Smooth

We just got back from southern California (Redondo Beach to be precise) and had a blast. My mom lives there and my sister came down to visit from northern California.

The first thing the kids wanted to do was go to the beach. We have gone to California many times but always around the holidays when it is far to cold to really ENJOY the beach. Sure it is still beautiful and majestic and calming to the soul but the water is darn COLD for a fun romp in the ocean. Thus the eagerness of the kids for a visit since it was SUMMER and the water was sure to be warm. So they thought. Keep in mind they are used to Arizona where, during the summer, pools are as warm as bathwater since the outside temperature is usually above 100 degrees in the summer and often above 110 degrees. It was in the 70's when we went to visit which is warm to Californians but cold to us. But the boys were not to be deterred. They went in the water with all the aplomb they could muster. Soon they were shivering and my youngest finally got out and told me, with chattering teeth, that he could no longer feel his feet. I smiled and gave him a thick towel to wrap around himself. He was very grateful. Once my other son saw that his brother had gotten out first he scrambled out stating (also with chattering teeth) that if Jimmy wanted to go home he might as well get out too. I smiled at his good natured acceptance of having to leave so soon!

And, of course, what summer vacation is complete without a barbecue! We went back to mom’s house and had good old fashioned barbecued chicken with fruit and sodas. Then we watched a good movie and then mom and Leesa retired while my boys and I went back to the hotel for a late night romp in the hotel pool. We sacked out and slept well only to repeat this with slight variations the next day.

Big Eyes Small Mouth

This weekend me and my kids had fun playing a rollicking game of Big Eyes, Small Mouth. In it they were investigating the mysterious death of several UFC fighters. They eventually figured out that an alien bracelet was involved. They finally tracked it down to a Chinese restaurant but the bracelet leaped into the crowd which quickly dispersed in panic. Yes, the alien bracelet turned out to be sentient! They finally tracked it down again to an old apartment building and had the fight of their lives as they tried to contain it! It was great time for all.

Cheap Blues song

Twisted and wasted in a cheap blues song.
Too much spinning in my head.
I will never understand how things work.
Reminders all around you.
Constantly in your head.
Spinning.
Echoes go on forever.

What was and what shall never be

Okay I just got back... Wow... Just, wow.
I can't even begin to describe the agony of this evening. I was caught in a vortex of all that is wrong. Thoughts of how it used to be filtered through my brain all evening. When I was content, happy, when the angels used to sing. I may never leave the house again.

Zombie Jamboree

If you like zombies I am reading a great book right now.  It is called "Feed" by Mira Grant.  It is a pretty straight forward zombie book but I really like the main characters so far.  I am not far into it but I like the way they have developed and I like the fact that they are bloggers in a zombie world.  It's kind of cool that they mix tech with zombies in the apocalypse.  I also like the way the zombies evolve and they way they operate when their numbers increase.  I don’t like spoilers so I will not say anymore here.  I am only in a few chapters so I will let you know if my opinion changes.  As an added bonus there is a sequel called “Deadline” if the first one is good.

Side of the pool

Okay, I am feeling better today.  My head is still swimming but I feel that I can at least SEE the side of the pool today.  Still a lot of chaos in my head but the din is diminishing.  I would say that I am rough and tough like alligator baggies but, lately, I have been told that I am not.  So be it.  I will yield to no GM.

My boys will be at their moms house this week.  I hate that.  My house is way too quiet.  I need the shrill of childrens laughter and the constant cry of "Dad!  I'm hungry!" or "Hey Dad, check out this new video game I'm playing" or "Dad, this cartoon is great, come watch it with me!"  That is heaven.  I love to do things for people and my kids make me feel needed.  I am a simple person and I enjoy a simple life.  Still, I would like a little more in my life...  Thought I had that dialed in but I guess I was wrong.  Oh well.  My brain is still active and hasn't quit on me yet.  I will go back to what I do best.  Creating, learing and looking.  Endless travel.

Remainder

No, I did not misspell reminder. Remainder is what is left over after everything is said and done. That is how I feel today. The remainder. Lots of things have changed for me lately. Not all of them have been for the good. Right now I am sitting at my dining room table staring out my sliding door into my backyard. It needs work. But not today. It is 9:00M and I am waiting for my Nicky to wake up so I can enjoy his laughter and good spirits. Jimmy is at a sleepover with his friend Marcus. He will be home in an hour. Once they are both with me everything will be right again. Still, right now I feel like a remainder...

5:40pm update

I read a quote in a book today that said "stay the path". It is a really good book and I have really learned a lot from it, philosophically speaking. I thought about the quote. I always try to stay the path. I am all about staying the path. My entire life I have dreamed about being able to stay the path. Biggest problem is the path keeps dropping me off at the curb. So what happens when you are on the path and it is a wonderful path, you can hear angels sing on the path and then, the next thing you know, the path ends at the curb again...

I know this is not my usual post but I am feeling a bit down and I seriously doubt anyone reads these anyway. Never any comments. So, I am posting about paths. You can't kick me to the curb for writing this, I'm already there.